The Final Countdown

T Minus Three hours and thirty minutes until my flight.

I am not as nervous as I thought I would be, but I still detect a cycling of nerves, mainly in my speech patterns (speaking fast and stuttering a bit). 

A lifetime of of improvement squished into a year.  My greatest loss has led to my greatest success and I am going to run with it!

My entire life has changed, and I have so many people to thank.  My childhood friends, my Chang Bangers, my other friends I have made, my ex... to many to thank.

I have so many new things to experience in a brave new world.  The Dale I was has slowly been fading into an echo, and I am going to continue to grow into something faster, stronger better than I was before.  Dubai represents a tangible and physical goal/destination, and for the first time in my life I feel as if I have truly earned my opportunity.

Aside from the move, I really do not have much to talk about at the moment.  However, my next blog post is going to be in a new city, a new country amidst a whole different set of friends.  Half a world away, but maybe, just maybe I am going to what home is supposed to be.

Until next time!

And for a bit of ambiance!  Europe!

The words people use.

My last move was pretty hectic.  A month after the woman I loved turned her back on me completely I was still kinda in shambles, so most of my stuff was just thrown in boxes to be sorted out at another date.  It was probably a good thing in the long run, since I would have probably fell apart completely if I would have read all of those cards, letters and pictures I have saved over the years.

So today, while packing and housecleaning for my big move I am going through lots of stuff... and I have a heavy heart.  Thankfully it is almost a year later, and I have gone lightyears in my own personal development, but those letters, cards and pictures still stab me to the core.

Why do people say things like, "I will never turn my back on you", "we will be together always", and my personal favorite, "We have come so far, nothing will ever stop our love"... when in the long run they leave.

I suppose I am partially guilty of this as well, but in my defense in the past when I did break a promise it was not of my own volition, there was a deeper problem I only now have fought.

I have always believed that when you believe in something you never stop fighting until there is nothing left to fight for.  Funny thing about this is, it has taken me decades to finally start fighting for me.  I know I have lost and had a great deal sacrificed, and I know in the long run that sacrifice and loss will be worth it.

It just sucks I still believe.

Well I had best get back to work, those old pictures, cards, letters and other momentos will not organize themselves, just felt like sharing while it was fresh on my mind.  My goal is to have my place packed up by tonight.

Out with the old, in with the new.

Today is my last day at Chang's here in the Tri-Cities.  I am both excited and sad at the same time.  These men and women who Chang Banged with me for almost three years have seen me at my worst, and now the beginning of my best.  They are a family to me in ways that most people have not been for years, a dysfunctional family at times lol, but a family none the least.

This coming week will be a time of crazy packing, organizing, errands and the occasional party as I prepare for my move.  It is going to be really weird as I put all of these things behind me so I can start a new adventure in a very exciting and different place.

This last year has been one of change for me, and while some things have remained the same (namely sense of loss and loneliness) I feel far better prepared for the days ahead.  I am not all that lean, mean and moving forward machine.

I am very excited to get back in touch with Mike, Bryan, Christine, Donna, Grace, and the dozens of friends I made while over in Dubai!  And hope to be able to make many more.